Now, earlier than anybody begins complaining or ranting, the title of this text – “The Absurdities of Cryptozoology” – is most undoubtedly not an assault on cryptozoology. The topic is, doubtless, one which I’m notably fascinated by – and which I’ve been fascinated by since my first journey to Loch Ness, Scotland, on the age of six. So, stop yapping earlier than you even begin.
As for these absurdities, they revolve round elements of the phenomenon which can be not addressed anyplace close to sufficient, and which lead me to imagine that so most of the so-called cryptids that populate our planet are literally issues that must be investigated by folks with a deep data of the world of the paranormal, the supernatural, and the occult, and not simply zoology or cryptozoology. I am going to start with the beasts of the aforementioned Loch Ness.
There might be only a few individuals who have not heard of the Loch Ness Vampire. Its proper up there with Wild man by way of infamy. For a lot of, the Nessies are plesiosaurs. For others, they’re jumbo salamanders. Then there are solutions the creatures is likely to be large eels. However here is the absurdity in accepting the creatures as nothing however unknown animals: Loch Ness is teeming with different mysteries.
I’ve at least seven studies of so-called “Alien Massive Cats” seen at Loch Ness, within the twenty first Century alone. Within the Seventies, a “Man in Black” was encountered on the loch by Nessie-seeker, Ted Vacation. Important UFO sightings over the waters have been reported. There’s the story of a stressed, World Battle Two-era, ghostly airman on the loch. None aside from Aleister Crowley lived at Loch Ness – at Boleskine Home, and from the place all kinds of occult exercise was undertaken. Witch-covens, sightings of nothing lower than fairy-like creatures, and even encounters with bushy man-beasts, are all staple components of the Loch Ness controversy.
Then there’s the difficulty of the looks of the Nessies: whereas the long-necked, humped description is the one which most individuals can relate to, the beasts have been reported as (a) tusked, (b) camel-like, (c) resembling an enormous frog; and (d) crocodile-like. If the Nessies have been the one odd residents of Loch Ness, I might recommend that, sure, they very possible are one thing purely for the area of cryptozoology.
However, after we see how a lot extra weirdness is occurring on the loch (and has for a lot of a moon), I discover it absurd to position the Nessies in purely a flesh and blood camp. A definitive shape-shifter could be extra possible. And I discover it absurd that individuals ought to hope to snare a Nessie in a lot the identical manner one would possibly snare a catfish or a sturgeon. Loch Ness will not be the house of plesiosaurs. It is certainly one of John Keel’s “window areas,” the place absolutely anything and every thing can occur. And does!
With that mentioned, onto what have change into generally known as “flying humanoids.” Their legendary names embrace Mothman, Owlman, the Houston Batman, and plenty of extra. They’ve change into staple components of cryptozoology. However, there are specific issues that make me conclude their origins are way more on the planet of the supernatural than the area of unclassified animals. There’s, as one would possibly guess, the matter of their wings.
I’ve a whole lot of studies of flying humanoids on file, and there’s one factor that always stands out: the wings of the creatures are nowhere close to of a measurement that will be required to permit a six to seven foot tall humanoid creature to take to the skies. In some circumstances, wings are seen, however the beast merely climbs vertically into the sky – similarly to a helicopter – with out even a single beat of these ridiculously undersized wings.
Flying humanoids undoubtedly exist; the phenomenon is, doubtless, a real one. However, the appearances of the creatures so usually appear stage-managed: the encounters are “carried out” for the advantage of the witness by supernatural actors, ones who current themselves as we count on them to look. However, so lots of them are aerodynamically absurd. Mothman and Owlman are usually not unknown, flesh and blood animals. They’re clearly one thing that must be investigated from the attitude of them being paranormal.
Now to Wild man. It is one factor to speak about Man of the woods within the Pacific northwest forests, the Yeti within the huge Himalayas, or the Yeren in China. However what about Wild man within the land I grew up in: the UK? I can let you know, for positive, that the UK is overflowing with studies of Wild man. I do know, as in 2007 I wrote a ebook with reference to the British Wild man. Its title: Man-Monkey.
The studies from the British witnesses are not any much less credible than these from the US, or from the aforementioned China or the Himalayas. Folks within the UK inform their tales in lucid, level-headed style. However (and right here comes that phrase once more…) it is 100% absurd to assume that colonies of Wild man might dwell in someplace so small because the UK. However folks see them – frequently, too. The studies aren’t within the dozens, they’re within the tons of.
As with the flying humanoids, the phenomenon of Wild man within the UK will not be one that ought to fall into the sector of cryptozoology. Nonetheless one would possibly outline the phrase “paranormal,” that is most assuredly what the British Wild man is. And as within the US, I do know of two circumstances within the UK the place farmers shot at a Wild man. Good luck with that; it by no means works. Everybody is aware of Wild man cannot be killed with bullets! Additionally like quite a lot of US Wild man, the British beast has the flexibility to fade within the flash of a watch. And so forth, and so forth.
This all brings me again to the title of this text. Earlier than anybody squeals like a bit woman, stamps their ft, or complains like a spoiled brat, I’m not saying that the sector of cryptozoology is absurd. And I am not saying that the folks within the topic are absurd. Fairly the alternative: a few of my closest pals are cryptozoologists. So there might be no mistake, what I’m saying is that this: it is the creatures of cryptozoology which can be absurd.
They dwell the place they merely can’t not dwell and nonetheless stay hidden from society – the British Wild man demonstrates that. They dwell in particular, enclosed areas which can be populated by a large vary of extra supernatural oddities – the Nessie phenomenon reveals that. And, on the matter of the flying humanoids, they’re usually as aerodynamically unsound as a drunken, blindfolded, elephant parachuting out of a 747 at 30,000 ft.
In some scary style, all of this stuff exist; I completely, absolutely imagine that. Wild man is actual. Mothman is actual. The Houston Batman is actual. And the Nessies are actual. However they are not animals as we perceive the time period. They’re one thing else. And we have to begin treating them as one thing different than simply unclassified animals.