There was a time when each Put up Workplace within the U.S. displayed the FBI’s listing of Most Wished criminals. There was a time lengthy earlier than that when these Wished posters listed a reward or a bounty for the seize (cue Bon Jovi) – useless or alive – of sure criminals. These days are lengthy gone … besides in Oklahoma, the place a state consultant introduced on the Home flooring that the state’s bounty on Bigfoot has reached $3 million. There’s no Wished poster as a result of there’s no mugshots of Sasquatch, and even when there was, it will solely say “Alive” due to the uproar this bounty precipitated when it was first introduced in January 2021 together with a invoice to make Bigfoot searching authorized in Oklahoma – the invoice failed, however the proposed $25,000 bounty stayed and in simply 4 brief months has grown to $3 million! Does anybody actually suppose it received’t be paid out if somebody brings in a useless Bigfoot?
“We’re gonna provide $3 million, we raised the bounty at the moment, $3 million for a reside seize unhurt Bigfoot.”
All the native information media and a few nationwide ones had been in Oklahoma Metropolis on Could 25 when State Rep. Justin (J.J.) Humphrey, (R) District 19, introduced the most recent whole on the bounty, which stood at $2.125 million in March. Additionally in attendance was movie producer Stephen Stafford and his crew to movie Humphrey’s massive announcement and benefit from the “Filmed in Oklahoma Act of 2021. “Filmed in Oklahoma Act of 2021” signed by Gov. Kevin Stitt this week growing the tax rebate cap for movies shot within the state from $8 million to $30 million — Stafford described this credit score as “among the best within the nation.”
The identical may be stated of the Bigfoot bounty – in reality, it’s the most important and greatest as a result of no different state has one at any quantity. That’s all the time Humphrey’s cue to pipe in together with his well-rehearsed disclaimer:
“We do not hunt Bigfoot. No person desires to hurt Bigfoot. We’ll do a reside, humane seize of Bigfoot. We’re extending this past simply our area and all through the state. We’re wanting the entire world to return to southeastern Oklahoma, to the state of Oklahoma and get entangled in our bounty – Oklahoma bounty, Bigfoot bounty. So, we’re excited to ask the entire world to return and take part.”
Bigfoot Bounty – the faster vacationer greenback picker-upper! (You heard it right here first!) Whereas Bigfoot is the designated monster, Humphrey admits he’s the Dr. Frankenstein who created a second monster again in January:
“I truly filed a shell invoice. I did not even file it as an actual invoice to start out a season on Bigfoot. And who knew that that may go worldwide and that we’d acquire a lot consideration? I did plan on attempting to get slightly consideration for a competition in Honobai, Oklahoma, which is the place everybody is aware of the place Bigfoot lives.”
If any of these filmmakers searching for Oklahoma tax credit wants a script concept – right here’s one for you. Someplace deep within the Oklahoma forest, the chief of the native Bigfoots proposes a bounty on J.J. Humphrey – $4 million for bringing him in alive and squealing “No person desires to hurt Bigfoot!” Wished posters with blurry photos of Humphrey present up on timber in each state. The FBI places up its personal blurred Wished posters and the Bigfoot Conflict of 2021 begins. The suitable ironic soundtrack is already recorded – “We’re Solely in It for the Cash” by Frank Zappa and the Moms of Invention.
Watch out what you want for, J.J. Humphrey and Oklahoma.