Looking out a database for native Missouri mammals (as a result of guaranteeing accuracy is a kind of whacky, eccentric issues writers do), I discovered one thing I didn’t anticipate. Two somethings, truly. Amongst listings for the American bison, the badger, and the long-tailed weasel have been these two pleasant fellows – the Chupacabra, and Hairy-man.
And that is from an official authorities database.
The web site offers the Chupacabra (listed as Canis cryptis) the next description: “Generally folks mistake a mangy Missouri coyote for the legendary chupacabra.”
Okay, so the outline explains away the Chupacabra. Nevertheless, the entry for Hairy-man is a bit more mysterious, particularly naming it Momo, Swamp Ape (Homo cryptis). Momo is a sasquatch-type creature particular to Missouri and, nicely, let’s simply have a look at the state of Missouri’s official description: “Experiences of this huge, foul-smelling, manlike creature have come from alongside the Mississippi River in Missouri since 1971.”
Yep. That’s him, all proper. I’d acknowledge his foul stench wherever.
Why would a state authorities checklist strange creatures on its conservation web site? It makes my conspiratorial thoughts run wild.
The state of Missouri isn’t the one authorities entity that’s silently launched info on paranormal topics.
In 2012, ABC Information reported a chapter in FEMA’s “Fireplace Officer’s Information To Catastrophe Management” guide particulars what to do in case of an assault by house aliens. The chapter particulars how first responders ought to react when confronted with superior alien expertise, communication breakdowns, and the aliens themselves.
That is from the Federal Emergency Administration Company, the company that handles pure disasters throughout the nation. The company just isn’t solely ready to deal with the aftermath of floods, and tornadoes, however the Battle of the Worlds as nicely.
These aren’t the one situations during which the US authorities has delved right into a world usually reserved for Hollywood. Based on a CNN report, the Pentagon has a plan to struggle zombies.
The Protection Division has deliberate for a worldwide disaster that turns mankind into the strolling lifeless. Plans embrace all various kinds of zombies, equivalent to corpses reanimated by occult means, a virus, or radiation. Defending your self from a zombie reads proper out of a film.
“The one assumed strategy to successfully trigger causalities to the zombie ranks by tactical pressure is the focus of all firepower to the top, particular
ally the mind,” based on the CNN report. “The one manner to make sure a zombie is lifeless is to burn the zombie corpse.”
The most important query for these authorities companies is why? Why are they relating to these paranormal subjects as precise threats?
It’s fairly doable the companies are treating critical subjects (invasion, organic assault, publicity to radiation) with paranormal examples to easily spice issues up a bit. It’s additionally doable they’re simply overlaying all their bases.
Or, perhaps the federal government is aware of one thing in regards to the unseen world it’s not telling us.
Yeah, let’s go along with that one.