What Happens If We Find A Bigfoot?

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The title of this text is a query I typically get requested, in various methods. And, whereas any reply from me can solely be theoretical in nature – and completely nothing else, in any respect – it’s at the very least value pondering on the difficulty. Let’s say that tomorrow – and in an admittedly unbelievable stroke of luck – somebody out within the woods stumbles upon the physique of a Hairy-man. They name the police, the FBI, and / or the media. Inside hours, your entire world lastly is aware of the wonderful reality: Hairy-man is actual. On the plus facet, such an astonishing discovery would possibly very nicely imply that mainstream science and traditional zoology could be ready to just accept the chance that different “unknowns” – such because the beasts of Loch Ness, Scotland; the Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas; Ogopogo; sea-serpents and extra – additionally exist. That being so, maybe this would possibly end in funding from official our bodies to help within the seek for such creatures. All of this could be excellent information.

Proving the existence of Hairy-man may not be so worthwhile for everybody, nevertheless. What if, upon evaluation of the corpse of the creature, Hairy-man is certainly proven to be an unknown kind of ape? May that consequence within the location the place the beast was discovered being declared “No Go” for many of us, because of the possible shortage of the creatures? May we see total areas of forest and woodland indefinitely closed to the American public, all on account of issues that we’re infringing upon the territory of distinctive creatures that the federal government decides to position on an endangered-species listing?

Equally, what about Hairy-man and the logging trade? Might official laws drive the trade to droop its work anyplace, and probably all over the place, that Hairy-man creatures are seen and even rumored to stay? Which may be extraordinarily excellent news for the nation’s Hairy-man inhabitants, however not for these important numbers of individuals whose livelihood comes from chopping down timber. Hell, the financial system is in dangerous sufficient form already with out Hairy-man being chargeable for inflicting further job-losses!


There’s one other situation, too: let’s deal with the chance that we don’t come upon the physique of a Hairy-man. As a substitute, let’s hypothesize {that a} hunter – out within the woods, searching for deer – sees a Hairy-man in his gun-sights, fires, and slays the beast with one shot. Probably, in his world, Mr. Hunter would really feel like an actual man. And, little doubt, his thoughts would instantly be crammed with photographs of seeing Hairy-man’s head mounted on his living-room wall. Yep, actual intelligent, I don’t assume. However, guess what: that pathetic creature (the hunter, I imply, not the unfortunate Hairy-man) is likely to be in for a Man of the woods-sized shock.

If, at some point, we do safe a Hairy-man corpse, then an in-depth post-mortem shall be as important as it is going to be inevitable. However, are you able to think about the uproar and controversy that would manifest if the Hairy-man entities are discovered – upon research – to not be unknown apes, in any case, however a primitive and historical off-shoot of the Human Race? Fairly than slaying a mystery beast, has our hunter really simply dedicated cold-blooded homicide? Might the shooter be tried in court docket, sentenced, and even jailed? Virtually actually not, because of the overwhelmingly weird, and one in every of a sort, circumstances concerned. Nevertheless, it will probably be a on condition that from instantly thereafter legal guidelines could be laid down informing people who in case you kill a Hairy-man you’re technically taking the lifetime of a fellow-human, albeit one distantly associated to us. However nonetheless a human, nonetheless. And, duly warned, you could end up prosecuted to the total extent of the regulation in case you do select to go forward and bag a Hairy-man, as a method to attempt to compensate in your minuscule manhood.


All of the above is, as I mentioned in the beginning, strictly theoretical. It is also depending on a number of issues: that Hairy-man really exist, that they’re flesh-and-blood beasts (reasonably than paranormal entities, as some – together with me – strongly suspect is the case), and that we’re lucky sufficient to seek out simple proof of existence. However, if we do strike gold and safe such wonderful proof, there’s just one factor we will say with any diploma of certainty: it’s going to be after Hairy-man is shot by a laughable wannabee bad-ass, is stumbled upon, or is found that we are going to see the actually fascinating – and possibly unanticipated – developments start to floor. After all, on condition that Hairy-man is a dimension-hopping Tulpa and is impervious to bullets, I am not holding my breath.

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